I refuse to apologize.
I will preface this by saying I don’t think that I am super high maintenance. I just think the expectations for girls to be so easy going and laid back with everything is almost ridiculous.
I was raised with the mindset to always put your best face forward. My mom fought hard to get me to wear makeup, she bought be nice clothes, and always told me how to succeed. When I was in seventh grade I remember when she bought me a Bare Minerals starter kit. I didn’t really touch it for about five years but anyway, now I am grateful. I love dressing cute, wearing makeup and being a girly girl. I love those things that were given to me.
But, this post isn’t just about vanity. This is about what I expect. I expect flowers and doors being opened for me. I expect my future husband to fall madly in love with me and want nothing else in the world (except God) more than me. I expect that my life will be full and I can’t wait. I will not settle for the midnight text that reads “u up?” I will not settle for being insecure in a new relationship and I am gone (pre-marriage) once I find out my trust is betrayed. I believe these are healthy views, I know how much God loves me and what He expects of His Godly men. Why wouldn’t I want one of them? I have high expectations for my future husband and I hope he has high expectations for me. I don’t want a husband that will settle for anything under par. I want him to hold strong to his convictions and seek me out for what I am worth.
My mom is one of the best examples of a lady. She loves her husband strives to make is life the best it can be and she does it all looking very stylish. But the key is that she does this out of love, not expectation! She has always shown me what a lady in charge can get done. She knows how to do it and she does it. Like every teenager, I used to say I didn’t want to be like my mom but, I was so wrong. If I am a sliver of the women she is I will be forever grateful.
So no, I will not apologize for wearing makeup every day or attempting to look cute when I leave the house. I will not apologize for the fact that I have high expectations for my future husband and even myself. I want to be who God wants me to be and that is a very high bar that I am trying to reach but one day I might get a finger on it and then slip but I’ll keep jumping until that bar is reached and I am in God’s presence.